that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I deserve this hangover.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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