can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
