he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
