I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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