bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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