Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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