I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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