i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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