was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize