Dual....:-)
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
