I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
