if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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