Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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