It's Friday. Sex?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
