is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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