So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
These tits shall not be calmed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
