He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
