For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
