friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
