Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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