Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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