woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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