my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
