I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
