That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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