Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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