you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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