you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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