I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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