Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
