If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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