birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
