Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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