Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will be naked everywhere
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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