I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
