it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize