I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
