I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
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I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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