ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
