Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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