Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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(517): when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch. http://tfl.nu/wqdf

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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(412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r

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(408): View more from California

Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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(408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs

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(540): View more from Virginia

i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.

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(540): i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month. http://tfl.nu/gnax

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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(402): Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://tfl.nu/z0q7

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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(203): I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/68yw

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

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(770): I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration. http://tfl.nu/fur7

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(575): View more from New Mexico

There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.

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(575): There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/m7kt

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(206): View more from Washington

There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�

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(206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.� http://tfl.nu/3ssu

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(720): View more from Colorado

That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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(720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".

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(570): Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me". http://tfl.nu/8pyn

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.

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(918): I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey. http://tfl.nu/6r6d

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(816): View more from Missouri

Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.

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(816): Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours. http://tfl.nu/2v78

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(915): View more from Texas

People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.

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(915): People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling. http://tfl.nu/el49

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(612): View more from Minnesota

We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.

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(612): We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door. http://tfl.nu/fjm6

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