You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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