you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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