well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
