4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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