remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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