put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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