Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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