Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
