im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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