White coat. Heels.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
