I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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