dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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