I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
