I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
