whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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