and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
smell my finger.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
