I have demons in me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
