You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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