When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
