literally had 100 drinks last night.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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