Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
